Your Plants Are Calling!

July 28, 2024

My Morning Messages..

As you already know, your plants are a sacred reflection of you.

What started as an experiment, now provides daily confirmation that you can do hard things.

All your life you watched your mother buy & kill plants. One after the other. She would boast about not having a green thumb but continue to bring more plants in her home under the SAME care & supervision & wind up with SAME results.

At some point in my young life, I adopted this non-green thumb mentality. So I skipped over even trying to care for plants & mostly opted for dried flowers around the house or nothing.

A few years ago I heard that succulents were easier to care for & the simple, minimalistic style had always been very appealing to me.

One of my clients gifted me a few cuttings from her succulent collection & said “Just put the pieces in some soil.” “How hard could that be?” I thought.

Some survived & some didn’t.

In the meantime, I was enjoying seeing the green in my home so I added more plants to the collection.

Again, some survived & some didn’t.

I was winging their care. At the time, I didn’t associate the care I took of myself to my plant care.

It’s very clear to me today, but I was very lost back then. Just trying to survive each day. With a brain that was heavily influenced by other people’s ideas, a shattered heart & skin I didn’t feel safe in.

But there were a few plants that hung in there despite less than stellar attention & care.

“Girl, we love you exactly as you are. One day you will see your gifts & beauty & your shattered heart will mend & we will be here to witness every bit of it.”

“The body & soul are amazing things. We are watching & waiting & cheering you on from our pot places.”

“You can do hard things. Developing a green thumb is but a small part of what’s to come for you.” I’m imagining my sweet plants thinking back then.

Fast forward about 7 years..

This morning I have an interesting new “problem.” Several of my plants have outgrown their pots.

At some point, my care for them became very intuitive & I started to notice them thriving but at the time I was just so pleased they were even alive.

With plants, you can’t fake it. They basically live or die. It’s definitely different from humans with all the gray area, but I digress..

This morning I am googling:

“how to know when plant ready to be replanted?”

The signs have been there for some time..

• Roots
  Roots are growing out of the bottom of the pot, through the drainage holes, or circling around the top or bottom of the pot
  
  

• Soil
  Soil doesn't drain well, dries out quickly, or has pulled away from the sides of the pot and become hard
  
  

• Size
  The plant is too big or too small for the pot, or it's grown wider and about twice as tall as the pot
  
  

• Growth
  The plant stops growing, grows more slowly than usual, or produces small leaves and almost no new growth
  
  

• Leaves
  The plant drops leaves, or leaves start to lose their normal color, curl, or droop
  
  

• Other
  The plant is top-heavy and might fall over, or there's a salty crust on the soil surface 
  
  

All of this is happening at various degrees. They were just waiting for me to notice.

So now my kitchen table is filled with the project plants that will be receiving new pot homes.

Larger, wider, taller pots. All new soil & nutrients. Room to grow & thrive beyond what any of us thought was possible. Well, I mostly mean ME when I say that as a former self-proclaimed non-green thumb person.

So if my plants are a sacred reflection of me.. what does this all mean for my life?

On this sweet Sunday morning..

I GET TO take an inventory of my roots..

How much they have grown beyond my dreams is a testament to proper care. When I slowed down my life, nervous system, obligations, thoughts, all the things.. the pure & enormous growth happened quite naturally.

I GET TO renew my soil & energy..

The last 2 years have been quite the journey of learning & nurturing & loving. Having compassion & acceptance for every part of my being was just never an option on the table. Until it was. And damn it feels really good.

I GET TO decide the size of my growth..

My 58th birthday is around the corner. This one is hitting different. In many ways, it’s the anniversary of what feels like a brand new life..

My gratitude runs deep.

As I continue in this glorious season of growth.

Of loving my plants & myself.

As much as I already love my dogs.

Harvey Lives Here: A Dog Rescuer's Thoughts In The Storm

Disaster. Destruction. Death. Evacuate. Catastrophe. Crisis.

These words are not foreign to those of us in the rescue community. We live it every day. Feeling helpless & hopeless much of the time.

Just got off the phone with my parents. Checking in on them. And seeing if my Dad’s company had a large truck to try & rescue some friends & their 15 dogs near League City. He said, “No, I’m sorry, we don’t. Tell them to call the fire department.”

I spent the next 10 minutes explaining to him and giving examples of how that wouldn’t do a damn thing. They are rescuing PEOPLE now & DOGS are of a much lower priority. Especially 15+ dogs in one house.

Why so many dogs? Because our hearts are big for the over 1 million homeless animals estimated to be in Houston throughout the year. So some of us have more than we should. If not us, then who??

My thoughts are definitely all over the place this morning.. The floods are not effecting me directly as of now, besides being stranded in my home with no end in sight. But I seem to stay in fight or flight mode all the time because of rescue work. So the stress, desperation, & heartache don’t really feel foreign to me. Call me crazy.

I’m thinking about how fortunate I am to be sitting at the computer, dry, & in the air conditioning with electricity & food. My dogs are ok and safe. But I’m watching my City crumble all around me. Total devastation.

I’m thinking about how Houston is in the spotlite now. And everybody wants to jump and do something to help from all over the world. That’s very nice. But, guess what? Houston’s homeless dogs (& cats!) are in crisis mode EVERY DAY IN HOUSTON. Is this the legacy we want to leave for the next generation?? Not if I can help it.

They live outdoors on chains. Used & abused for human security. They are abandoned & roam the streets. They are in need of serious medical care. They aren’t vaccinated and their health is at risk. Disease is spreading. Puppies are everywhere. We are a virtually dysfunctional street dog puppy mill over here. We didn’t make these messes, but we feel obligated to clean them up. Have you ever tried to dig a hole in the sand?

So. We need you BEFORE, DURING, & AFTER Harvey. Our shelters stay FULL. Our rescue groups CANNOT handle the load. It's a nitemare.

We see what can happen when people come together. JJ Watt just raised over $1 Million to start rebuilding Houston. He told the news that the $ was largely from $5 & $10 donations from around the world versus several big donors. We have the power. We have the energy. We just have to get on the same page.

That’s really what I wanted to say. And that’s really the story here.. At least on this page.

Volunteer. Donate. Rescue. Give. Foster. Transport. Share. Adopt. Spay. Neuter. Outreach. Educate.

Goldilocks. Blood. Sweat. And Tears.

Warning: Graphic Images: Viewer Discretion Advised

Harris County Animal Shelter in Houston, TX is a tough place to be if you’re a dog. They are overcrowded and understaffed. A group of volunteers work tirelessly creating videos to post socially for the ones who need the most help getting out.

Two nights ago, it was Goldilocks’ turn. She is a 12ish year old blind cocker spaniel with a huge tumor. Here is the video which has been viewed over 28,000 times to date:

What Happened Next?

1. The director of Gulf Coast Cocker Rescue, Stephanie Collins, received 100s of pleas to pick up this dog from the shelter after people saw the video. But her rescue is full, their funds are low, and the group would need not only a committed foster, but one who would agree to take this dog into their home and their life forever if it came to that. It was unclear whether Goldilocks would be a hospice case at this point or not, but for sure she had a long way to go. And a lot of vet appointments.

2. Vickie Grissom is a volunteer for the rescue group and has fostered over 30 dogs in the past 5 years. Most of them were special needs. Vickie, her husband Ashley, and Vickie’s parents (who live with them) made the committed offer.

3. An email was sent to the shelter and plans to pick up Goldilocks were made for the next day. I met them at the shelter.

“It is overwhelming and easy to get swept away by the magnitude of the homeless pet population, and to become overwhelmed at all the deserving animals needing a home.”

— Stephanie Collins

“It takes resolve, focus, compassion, and a belief that the individual dog, like Goldilocks, has a value that makes the extraordinary commitment of time and money worth it. Given that little dog’s attitude and spirit, it is obvious to me that she deserves this chance.”

— Stephanie Collins

“Our motto is ‘quality care and forever homes, one cocker spaniel at a time’. The never-ending supply of these dogs is suffocating, but we founded on the principle of ‘if everything we do is for “just one”, it’s worth it.’”

— Stephanie Collins

Once they saw how bad she looked in person and smelled the stench of the tumor, they decided to bring her from the shelter directly to the ER for evaluation.

“The point is, everyone who is bothered by the problem needs to engage and do something to help it. They are either part of the problem, or part of the solution. There sure are a lot of people who jump on a thread and demand someone do something, especially when they see horrendous photos like hers, but how many of them actually step up to foster, volunteer, or donate? It takes all of that to help the organizations like ours who will go out on a limb for the one like her.”

— Stephanie Collins

“Gulf Coast Cocker Spaniel Rescue will never be a high volume operation. We find ourselves full of old, sick and behaviorally challenged dogs that just don’t move quickly, if they move at all. But there is nothing sweeter than being able to help one of them...and, thankfully, we find that like-minded people have been drawn to us. We often refer to the Starfish Story when we begin to feel overwhelmed, and it takes us back to our founding principles... focusing on The One.”

— Stephanie Collins

Here was the first report about her condition:

Her white blood cell count is very high due to the infection. It is around 47,000, instead of the 15,000 it should be. Additionally, her red blood cell count is very low and she is quite anemic. This vet said the low end of normal is around 37%, and she is only 19%. They planned to put her on antibiotics, orally as long as she would eat for them, and to see if the numbers started to head in the right direction. We need the RBC count to bounce back or they may recommend a transfusion.

While the shelter estimated 12 years of age, despite her cataracts and overall poor body condition… The vet felt it is a very likely possibility that she is younger.

What I would love would be to be able to restore her vision in at least one eye, but first we need to address the tumors. There is one big mammary chain down the entire left side of her body, so they would address that, the baseball sized growth, and spay her. We would then start heartworm treatment once she gains her strength a bit.

Friday afternoon report:

Clinically, she's still doing great. She's happy, eating, and resting comfortably. The results of the ultrasound were as follows:
• distended uterus with wall thickening. combined with high WBC count, pyometra (severe uterine infection) is suspected
• well defined cysts in body of spleen, cancer/neoplasisa is considered unlikely, but while in the abdomen, suggests removing this as if the masses grow (whether or not benign), the spleen is at chance for rupture
• changes in pancreas, consistent with chronic pancreatitis
• lymph node enlargement in abdomen, but it's likely secondary to pyometra
• Nothing to note about the diaphragm

Next steps: They are contacting a surgeon who does emergency/more complex surgeries for them, and has been doing so since 2004/2005. The question remains if this would require one surgical procedure or two. If two, the large tumor and mammary mass removal would be first, followed by the spay (to remove the uterus) and splenectomy a month or so later. That said, due to suspicion of pyometra, it's probably best to get the uterus out sooner rather than later, but obviously, the large, ruptured mass must come off as well.

The determination of how to proceed will, unfortunately, have to be made once the surgeon 'gets in there'. They are touching base with him this afternoon to find out when, over the weekend, he might be available to do this.

Red blood cells are holding steady, so soon this precious angel will receive the help she so desperately needs!!

Stay tuned... and please help if you can.

Update:  Surgery is tonight at 8 pm. 
Pray
And
BELIEVE.

The rescue group is accepting donations now for her care here. And thank you.

To Be Continued..

Dog Stories: Honoring Bittycakes Lee And Happy Places

When Catherine got in touch about doing an End of Life photo session for her dog and explained he was going downhill quickly, we made plans right away. Then she told me the story about how he "wasn’t really her dog.”

His photo had been circulating on a shelter’s page last October and he was at risk of being put down. A woman in Dallas said she wanted to adopt him, so Catherine offered to pull him from the shelter and foster him until she could come to Houston to pick him up. But that never happened. For whatever reason, the Dallas woman decided she couldn’t manage a new dog in her life at that time.

So, here was Catherine with this dog, a middle-aged pit bull mix, who she never intended on having for more than a couple of days..he’s sick with pneumonia, reactive towards her 2 small dogs, and ZERO plan for what to do next.

She prayed about it, reached out for help, nursed him back to health, got a dog trainer, and enlisted the help of her large extended family with this dog now known as Bittycakes.

A few weeks ago Catherine noticed that his belly appeared a bit distended and took him to the vet. Bitty was diagnosed with an enlarged liver and spleen and an autoimmune blood disorder. His health declined quickly, his kidneys were failing, and cancer was suspected.

We pulled up at the same time. There was Bittycakes..in the front seat of the minivan..smiling at me through the window. I went to say Hi and the first thing I noticed was his very pale gums and tongue. It had apparently been a rough night. Catherine told me that she scheduled his euthanasia for 11:30. Shit.

I asked her to give me a tour of their place so I could determine the best spots for photos. The family members filed in one by one and it all of a sudden became a crowded, busy work space. The portrait photographer part of me got stressed. How was I going to get cute photos for her?? And what was this conservative Asian family doing working out of a house in the heart of Montrose across from gay bars and restaurants?? And how did Bittycakes get so sick so fast?? My head was spinning and the questions were overwhelming me and I sat down at a table so I could try to get unanxious. Cuz, afterall, this ain't about me.

I took a breath and asked for guidance. Ah! It wasn’t time to take pictures was the message I received. It was time to talk to Catherine. So, we sat and spoke for almost an hour while Bitty roamed around with his G’morning Hello’s to all the family. There were already lots of treats and toys involved. Although, I had the distinct impression that this was just a normal day and they weren’t treating him any differently than they would any other time.

She told me about how important religion was to her family. That they had been praying so hard for Bitty. They are house church shepherds and hold prayer gatherings at their home for several families. This is something new..they started around the time Bitty came into their lives and they love it.

Her kids have picked up quick. She told me about a conversation she had with her 5 year old son that morning:

Mom: “Bittycakes is going to Heaven today.”

Son: “How is he going to meet God?”

Mom: “God sends angels to get him.”

Son: “I’m going to live until 200. Is Bitty going to still remember me?”

Mom: “Yes, Sweetheart. They wear name tags in Heaven.”

Natalie, Bitty's trainer, with Bitty & Catherine

This would be her first dog she would need to say goodbye to in this way. The others died of natural causes. But she didn’t want Bitty to suffer one more day.

When I asked her what Bitty came here to teach her, the answer didn’t come that easily. I told her I believe that our pets come with a certain mission. They sign up for it and when the mission is complete, it’s time for them to go. They know how they’ll go and they are ok with it.

What she said was, “I didn’t have a lot of faith that he could change his reactive ways towards other dogs. But he did. The progress was slow, but steady. At 35 years old, I’m pretty set in my ways. But he has inspired me to accept that I can change too.”

About this time we started taking photos, took a nice long walk to look for the kitties on his normal route, and of course, had more treats. The only thing that mattered at that moment was just being and feeling the love.

LOVE is the most important thing. At the end, it’s the only thing that matters. I hope you can see that here. Enjoy the photos and the sweet notes from Catherine..

“Bitty is in heaven now. Thank you. He just gave me a sign that he's ok. You're not going to believe this."

"I went through the McDonald's drive-through for lunch and ordered a ranch wrap. Well I drove off didn't check my bag and they didn't give me a ranch wrap, they gave me chicken nuggets, a cheeseburger, and fries. Bitty’s last meal today during the photo shoot, as you know, was chicken nuggets, a cheeseburger, and fries."

"He wanted me to know he's in a happy place. I took that as a true sign that God and his angels have him and that he is A-Ok now.”

"I was listening to a medical missionary at my church speak today about all the various patients that they see at the hospital in Kenya. Many are seeking cures for life threatening and terminal diseases.

One thing she said that really spoke to me was that she couldn't fix many of the people or cure their illnesses. She simply loved them and ran the race alongside them. And that sometimes God calls us to heal. Sometimes God calls us to finish the race alongside a dying friend. But most of all, God calls us to love."

"And then I realized that I had spent a lot of effort trying to fix Bitty. Fixing his dog aggression. Fixing his incessant chewing on his calluses with eucalyptus oil. Fixing his illnesses (which I ultimately failed at and couldn't).

But what he ultimately wanted and needed from me each day was simply to love him and make him a part of the family. And looking back, what he enjoyed the most (though Natalie is amazing) wasn't training, it was sitting on that disgusting green couch where many fosters have sat, and simply existing with us, his family."

“So you asked me what I learned from Bitty... as I lead my house church with my husband (the shepherd) and I listen to many of other people's marital problems, financial problems, all kinds of problems, I'm really not there to offer any advice to fix and provide a solution for someone.

I’m simply there to love and to run the race alongside them. In fact, the burden of fixing a problem, illness, is too great a burden to bear on my shoulders because I don't know God's plan. I only know his command to love one another. So that's what I'll do. Funny to learn that from a dog.. But I think I got it now..”

"Yes, Mama. I see you received my messages. Thank you for giving me a family and for everything you did for me. My work is done here. I'm so proud of you. Love, Bittycakes"

No One Showed Up To This Girl's Birthday Party, Then 1,000 People Decided To Make Her A Princess

The Story.

This wasn’t the type of post I was used to seeing on Jessica’s page. She usually shares photos of her daughter Alexis with their rescue dogs or happy videos of her dancing. So last Sunday’s post stopped me in my tracks and I felt horrible. No one came? WTF?

Before long, the post made it’s way to Charlie Diggs, who offered to throw Alexis another birthday party the following weekend. There was something in his tone and the excited responses that you just knew this guy meant business.

Who is Charlie Diggs?

He is a single father, cherished event promotor, and founder of Charlie's Helping Hands Foundation. According to the Facebook page, their primary focus is on helping catastrophe victims, veterans, and children. He has huge connections in the community and posted daily about the party taking shape. Donations of time, products, and services came pouring in. From Snow to Porta-potties to Princesses! Before long, it had taken on a life of it's own and hundreds of people were RSVP'ing that they'd be there. Many more sent video messages and gifts for Alexis. Just amazing.

Who is Alexis?

I’ve been an Alexis fan for over a year. In fact, I planned to write an article about her several months ago. She is a pint-sized dog whisperer, horse whisperer, Little Miss Dolittle, and I wanted everyone to see. She learned from her mother, who is the director of Ranch Haven Rescue, an organization that works to help rehabilitate and re-home animals in need.

But something told me to wait. I didn’t know why but I’ve learned to follow my gut, and apologized to her mom, but that we would definitely circle back in the future and get it done. When I saw Jessica’s Facebook post about the party, I knew it was Alexis’ time to shine.

By the way, Alexis has alopecia, which is an auto immune disease that attacks hair follicles causing hair to fall out with no known cause or treatment. She doesn’t have cancer and isn’t sick, but her appearance often gets mistaken for both.

The Plan.

I arranged to do a family photoshoot out at their house in the morning so we could have a story to tell Alexis. About an hour later, a limo came to take us to the party, but we pretended it was taking us to the next location for more photos.

Alexis is a dancer. A princess. A free spirit. I just love her.

She was clueless about the surprise. We watched Frozen in stereo in the limo donated by Bob Milner of Mercedes Benz of The Woodlands. It was surreal. She had no idea that she was about to see live princesses and virtually become one herself. My emotions were bubbling up around this time, just before we arrived at our destination, and I said to Jessica and Kyle, "This will be a story to tell your grandkids."

The Party.

She was overwhelmed by the crowd of approximately 1,000 screaming when she got out of the car, but it quickly turned into happiness when she saw the gigantic birthday banner and her mom whispered in her ear that everyone was there for her.

There were guests who flew in from out of state to be there. Several people living with alopecia came to support Alexis. There were princesses. Snow. Birthday cakes. Gifts. (Tons of them..which will be donated to an orphanage in Galveston). A representative from The Children's Alopecia Project came in from Pennsylvania. Miss Texas was there. Alexis had her own bodyguards for the entire event. Police were directing traffic. There was a Paint Lady, Santa was there, Moon Walks. Channel 11 filmed the whole thing. Gosh, so many things and I want to credit everyone but I don’t have all the info, sorry. See the rest of the photos from the party below. It was a great time. Especially for all the kids, who only wanted to take selfies with Alexis and be her newest friend.

The Gratitude.

I just received this note from Jessica which sums up the day perfectly.

“I was so proud of her. Until the very end of the party she was still smiling for every picture just about, giving hugs and saying thank you. She watched them load every single gift into that trailer and only grabbed one (a blue unicorn she held on to for comfort to drive home with). We have several kids at the house tonight and she has not asked about gifts once. She was so gracious and humble. I was very proud. She is just so happy to have friends. I am so thankful.”

“Tomorrow, one by one, she will open up each gift so we can hopefully get thank you’s out to those who were willing to leave a card. I cannot tell you how many people came up to me and grabbed my arm terrified she was not going to actually open their gift once they heard they were going to be donated. She will open them all. We will keep the memories of each gift and any special mementos specially made for her. But we want to gift back what the community gifted us in whatever tangible way we can to make some other childrens’ hearts smile this Christmas!”

Dog Stories Episode 3 - Out Reaching With Julia Long - Swan's Story

Click on the triangle play button below to start the podcast. OR you can also listen to and subscribe to future episodes on iTunes or by going to the Podcasts app on your phone and searching by my name. Or by going directly to this link.

Today's episode is sponsored by:

Julia Long after car accident with puppies she saved.

Swan

Swan video below.

If you would like to help support the care of Swan and her puppies, you may do so directly from The Love, Molly Fund's website or email Julia Long at thelovemollyfund@hotmail.com.

Visit Purple Cat Resale online here.

Clyde

Clyde

Clyde is available for adoption through The Love, Molly Fund. All inquiries: thelovemollyfund@hotmail.com. He's scrumptious!

Thank you Julia.. For your bravery and kindness and generosity. You inspire me daily. XO

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If your business would like to sponsor a future podcast, please inquire through the contact page on this website.

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Dog Stories Episode 2 - In The Family Way - Beyla's Story

Beyla

It’s rare that we get to hear the backstories about dogs who come into rescue. This is an opportunity to do just that..and so much more!

Click on the triangle play button below to start the podcast. You can also subscribe to future episodes on iTunes by going to the Podcasts app on your phone and searching by my name.

Today's episode is sponsored by:

Beyla is available for adoption through Southern States Rescued Rottweilers. Here is the link to her adoption page for more information and all inquiries.

Matt with Beyla

Beyla

Matt and Ryan training Beyla and Sarah's dog Bronson together

Sarah and Matt training with the dogs.

Rea and Sarah with Bronson

Thank you Sarah, Rea, and Matt. It was an honor to chat with all of you. Your love for Beyla continues to inspire me, as does your bravery in telling her story. XO

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If your business would like to sponsor a future podcast, please inquiry through the contact page on this website.

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Dog Stories Episode 1 - Finding Nina and Miller

So many cool dog peeps. So many great dog stories. And I want to help tell them!

Join me for my first podcast here! Have fun looking through the photos as you listen to this interview with Regina Adams about two dogs she rescued recently and is fostering in her home. Just click on the triangle PLAY button below to listen!

Please direct all adoption inquiries to Regina @ RAdams@rbaplaw.com.

Regina with her beloved Shadow taken a few years ago in my studio.

Miller's BEFORE!

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Pet Loss: The Truth About Grief, Depression, And Hope. Part One.

It was a bit of a trick question (given my years of experience in the psychology field and some things I’ve been wondering about lately), but I posted this on Facebook the other night anyway.

“I’m just curious.. What is the longest time you’ve grieved for a pet? & What amount of time do you feel is appropriate to grieve for a pet? This is a very personal topic and there is no right or wrong answer.”

I noticed some trends in the comments received, so I decided to consult with a couple of expert friends on the subject.

Several people thought since my Ozzy had just passed that I was asking for advice for myself. So they consoled me. Super sweet. But that wasn’t the reason for the post.

I picked up Ozzy’s ashes that afternoon and felt a very peaceful love for him and from him. I didn’t break down or cry like I was concerned about for the past week while I procrastinated on retrieving his remains. I suppose most of my grieving was done in private while he was still alive with cancer.

The first person I spoke to about the post was Kira Ellis of Intuitive Pet Care. She is an animal soul translator. Best I can describe it is she helps people understand the connection between their lives and the missions of their pets. When I told her about the condolence responses she said,

“What they are telling you is what they need to hear for themselves, so they are really speaking to themselves in your eyes.”

I loved that. If the questions I asked brought healing on any level to my friends still grieving their pets who have passed on, I’m all about that.

Some very powerful things Kira had to say about losing our pets:

The death of a single animal has the power to generate a thousand human blessings.

When an animal crosses over they set SO many blessings in MOTION — blessings we aren't always ready for or know how to receive. We rarely see the blessings because of all the pain:

What we don't see are the 50 comments filled with love and support on the post we made about their death.
What we don't see is the newfound motivation we now have to leave a dead end job or relationship. 
What we don't see are all of the missed calls from people who cared.
What we don't see are the years of built up emotions now pouring out of us because we lost the closest thing to our hearts.

We aren't always ready for them to leave because deep down we know that if they leave things will change. Our comfort zones will shift and more things will come, more things will go. The timing never feels right because they provide an incredible amount of safety for us. When they leave it’s the equivalent of a blankey being taken away from a small child. 

Losing an animal is incredibly painful because they SEE us. They see our hearts like no one else. Being seen by them is a gift in and of itself that we feel cannot be experienced outside of them. What they want us to know is that we CAN experience love like theirs, but in order for this to happen room must be made. This is why they leave. To release us to the world to experience a greater kind of love that they will now be guiding us to from the other side.

THIS is their greatest wish for us.

To Be Continued..

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10 Reasons I Chose Pet Hospice Care For My Dog With Cancer

Ozzy in Galveston. Photo by Kristen Smith. http://shaggychichouston.com/

Pet hospice care is different from human hospice care in that it provides the option for euthanasia. The intention of pet hospice is not to cure your pet’s illness, but rather to ensure a peaceful end of life experience in your home.

Every end of life is different. My pets’ conditions in the past didn’t leave me much choice about making the decision to euthanize. One was almost 17 years old and her liver was failing, one was young but had dangerous behavioral problems, and the other had severe swelling of the brain. Making the decision to know when it’s time if your dog has cancer or another terminal illness can be much trickier.

Most vets do not offer this type of in home care. In fact, our vet sent us home with a terminal diagnosis, stool softener, no pain meds, and not much of a plan. I'm guessing that is how it's normally done but I just needed more support than they were able to provide.

I have known about Last Wishes In-Home Pet Hospice and Palliative Care in Houston for a while and decided to use their services with Ozzy. It’s perfectly ok to work with a new vet in this instance and you can have a copy of your vet records sent over to them. Dr. Cornelius and her staff were a godsend in our lives. They visited with Ozzy in our home every few days and were available daily for consultation as his needs changed.

Ozzy’s quality of life was my main priority. There was a lot of discussion about weighing risks throughout the entire process. When it was clear that the tumor under his pelvis was growing larger and preventing him from being able to poop, Dr. Cornelius reviewed her Quality of Life Journal with me. It really put things into perspective nicely and I figured if it helped me then it could help many of you in similar situations.

Here are the reasons I chose pet hospice care for my Ozzy:

1.  Kept us out of the Pet ER.

They taught me how to give an injection for severe pain and fluids for dehydration in case of emergency and provided us with all medications just in case.

2.  Gave me time to get used to the idea of his passing.

A diagnosis of 2-6 weeks to live is shocking so that extra support really meant a lot. In our case, there wasn’t going to be surgery or other medical treatment for his cancer.

3.  Daily support.

You never know what the next day will bring. Pets with terminal illnesses have good days and bad days. I enjoyed celebrating the good ones with our hospice peeps. They were so patient and loving.

4.  Comfort care.

Ozzy being blind added more of a challenge to it. A dog’s eyes are very telling about how they're feeling, their needs, etc. and I didn’t have that benefit.

5.  Pain management.

This was everything. Liver flavored treat-like pain pills 3X/day.

6.  Be in the Now.

Last Wishes was really rooting for Ozzy and did everything they possibly could to prolong his life. They helped me stay in the moment with him.

7.  Know when the time is right.

It’s such a slippery slope and can be very scary trying to seemingly play God all on your own.

8.  Gave me overall peace of mind.

It’s been 2 days since we said goodbye. I miss Ozzy so much but I know we did the right thing.

9.  Euthanize in a comfortable place where he was less stressed.

He was well enough to play with toys an hour before the end of his life. He went to sleep happy and relaxed. We didn’t have to let things get ugly. I chose to not have my other dogs present, but that is an option with Last Wishes if you prefer it.

10. Grieve in the privacy of my own home.

I tried to be strong for Ozzy up until his last breath. But my emotional outbursts afterwards would have really disturbed business at a vet clinic.

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Making Peace With My Dog’s Cancer

Time is funny.

We waste a lot of it. Either being overwhelmed with the past — feeling guilty or sad for what has already happened, or being stuck in the future — worrying about what might or might not happen. This is what anxiety is made of.

But there’s nothing like a loved one’s prognosis of “2-6 weeks to live” to make time stand still.

That moment really stung. I reacted emotionally, as you might have noticed by my last blog post about Ozzy. Over the next few days I felt like a victim, which isn’t my normal style. I was angry. I was sorry for us. I had regrets. I was desperate to change our reality.

My energy went into resisting Ozzy’s diagnosis and all that would surely follow. So, I prayed for strength, peace, and a deeper understanding to guide me through this f*cked up situation.

Then a shift happened: I accepted that Ozzy is going to die.

I have chosen to not allow his inevitable passing to consume my thoughts and take away the precious moments I have with him right now. Trust me, this is a conscious effort on my part. It doesn’t come naturally and isn’t easy; it’s tough inner work. I’m no expert, but it feels like the right way to be right now.

I surrendered to what is and immediately started living in the moment. When he had a setback the other day I didn’t freak out. I wasn’t thinking about how long he has or what the end will look like. I’m living and loving with him in the moment and handling our business as it comes.

Ozzy is not his failing body. That is just his form. I know when Ozzy leaves his physical body he’ll still be supporting me on my road to becoming the best version of myself I can be in this lifetime. He’ll just be doing it with my Angel Team above.

So, what really matters now? Paying attention. I’m taking time to talk to Ozzy. Pet him slowly. Feel his curly fur between my fingers. Revel in the joy I feel when he kisses my cheek. Cheer him on when he navigates my steep set of stairs on his own once again. Smile when I talk to him and it appears he can see me because he’s looking right through me with those beautiful light blue broken eyes. I want to remember all of this.

I am grateful for these gifts of peace Ozzy has given me.

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Confessions.. Uncoated. Uncut. Pass the Twinkies.

I wrote this blog post a couple of weeks ago. Then we had the floods in Houston and then Prince died and then Ozzy was diagnosed. The timing just wasn’t right to share it. But I circled back this morning. I think it’s too important and was really a foreshadowing of what was to come in my life. On some level I knew there was bad stuff lurking.

Something tells me that a lot of animal rescuers will be able to relate. So I think it’s important to talk about this topic and if it helps people, then I don’t mind disclosing my personal experiences.
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I am depressed.

It happens. It’s hard to get out of bed. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. Depression and anxiety have been a part of my life for many years — even during the time I worked as a psychotherapist, if you can believe that.

I know if you asked 20 depressed people how depression feels, you’d get 20 different answers. I can only give you my thoughts.. It feels dark. Hopeless. Helpless. It’s difficult to concentrate and remember things. I overeat. My nights are restless. Or I sleep too much. I fear the worst. I worry about my future. It feels like I’m living inside someone else’s body.

Anything can bring it on if your genetics have the biological propensity for depression. I’ve been on medication for years, but sometimes it just spills over and the meds aren’t enough. That’s where my life tools need to come in.

I know this is temporary because I’ve been through it before. Oftentimes, it’s the lead-in to something really beautiful. It’s the dark before the light. It’s a time for me to be quiet, isolate, and reflect on my life. I pray. I ask the Universe for the things I need and want. I just take it one day at a time. But part of the challenge of isolating is being in my own head too long. Because a lot of this is really an illusion.

The illusion that my brain chemicals have created. So I suffer through it. Each time it makes me smarter and stronger than the last. Go figure.

Rescue work is a breeding ground for depression. I meet a lot of people who are clearly depressed but they probably aren’t aware. I can tell from their demeanor, their words, their attitude, their communication. 

We aren’t machines. We have feelings, hopes, and doubts. We hurt when the dogs we are trying to help hurt. How could we not? But we aren’t born with the ability to express these emotions. It’s a skill that develops over time if you work hard at it.

On some level we may identify with the dogs we help. We have lived through traumas too. Have you grieved those events? Have you taken the time to understand them, forgive, move on? Or do you unconsciously react when those trauma buttons are pressed?

I’m not going to lie. Addie’s and Jewels’ deaths took a toll on me. I wasn’t ready to just be happy and positive and move on. They deserved more of my quiet time. To honor their lives, make them not in vain.

I don’t have all the answers for sure. But putting things into perspective today was healing for me on some level. It’s not something we talk about. There is a ton of shame in it. But it’s fucking REAL.

I am blessed to have a few good friends I can talk to. They reached out this time when “I got too quiet.” LOL.

What to do? Get help. Talk to friends. A therapist or counselor or psychiatrist for medicine. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, it’s imperative you get help immediately. That’s called a crisis and it can go from bad to worse quickly.

This chart came to mind as I was writing. I think it illustrates the tough cycle that we experience in rescue. I’m certainly guilty of getting caught in this storm. Thinking I could have some guest blog posts soon on the topic. There is so much more to say..

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Life Is Bitchy. And Then They Die.

There were two phrases I heard this past week that literally made my body shudder. First was when the vet looked up from examining him. I could tell she had just felt something that wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Ozzy has cancer.”

The second I heard about an hour ago. It came from Dr. Cornelius of Last Wishes In-Home Pet Hospice and Palliative Care. The consultation in my home was about to end and I needed to know. So I asked.

“He has 2-6 weeks. At best.”

A small cancerous tumor was found in his anal gland about 2 years ago and was surgically removed. But it had already spread to other glands. The large tumor now under his pelvis is painful and preventing normal elimination. Surgery is not an option. He can only poop about a flat pecan size at a time. Very soon that area will close up and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.

I have a lot of experience with client dogs and cancer, but this is the first time with one of my own.

The past week has been spent spoiling Ozzy. I’ve stayed mostly in my head about his condition. Knowing the truth, but being present for him and not letting it hit that place. The place where you know that real is real and there’s no turning back and everything you love must one day leave you and how it hurts to the core of your everyness. Sweet, innocent Ozzy. 

We went through hell with him 3 years ago when he lost his sight overnight. He is totally blind and after tons of testing, no known cause was found. He bounced back like a champ and has been a happier dog without sight than he ever was with it.

I’ve been letting him do all the things that used to annoy me. Like incessantly licking my arms and legs. Like chewing the squeakers out of one toy after another in a few minutes and push them off to the side. Like barking ’til his heart is content. Because that’s what he does. It makes him happy and I want him to be comfortable and happy right now.

So now we wait. Wait for him to die. Aren’t we all waiting to die, really? Most people probably refer to it as living but it feels differently to me today.

I’m thinking about all the things I regret. Why didn’t I take him for more walks? Why did I let him go live with that woman who didn’t care for him properly? Why didn’t I say Yes to his dad who wanted to take him to the park all those times? Why didn’t I cook him chicken more? More toys. More kisses. More time.

Here is the case that holds all the meds he will need over the next 2-6 weeks. His life is in this box. His comfort. His short future. This is what it’s come to.

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Love Note From A Rescuer On Sabbatical

It still happens often. I receive a note about someone needing help with a dog. Either finding a rescue or rehoming or a medical need of some sort.

Yesterday something interesting happened. I randomly had a thought about my old friend JoJo who I haven’t seen or spoken to in several years. About 3 minutes later — I shit you not — she texted with a photo of a dog she was trying to find a home for.

For about the past year, about 97.3% of the time, I politely and apologetically decline to help. There’s a twinge in my tummy and a blip in my heart that happens after every time I do it. Kinda feels like guilt, but I have to remind myself quickly of a few things so a panic attack doesn’t ensue.

1.  If I give an inch for a dog, I’m following through ALL THE WAY, at a fast pace, & 150% capacity of everything I have. So, at this time, I cannot give even one inch. The concept of self-care only became part of my awareness about a year ago (& I’ll be 50 in August!) but I still don’t have the hang of it yet and learning the delicate balance of all things is still tricky. My boundaries mechanism thingee kicks in. So, I politely and apologetically decline.

2.  I believe that there will be a need for rescue work throughout the rest of my lifetime. I also believe there is a good chance that animals will need help, just as humans will need help, ’til the end of time. We Can’t Save Them All. So, I politely and apologetically decline.

3.  We all have nice cameras and contact lists in our pockets. So, I politely and apologetically decline.

4.  Social media is free and easy to use. We have friends, family, and people we presume to know on these networks. Networks = Networking = Help A Dog. So, I politely and apologetically decline.

5.  I have had a hand in saving, I don’t know, 100s, 1000s of dogs in the last 7 years. More than most people will do in 10 lifetimes. I have no regrets. So, I politely and apologetically decline.

6.  Everything I do is with INTENTION. My intention in these moments is to empower the person on the other end of the note or phone call to make it happen for this dog. I have the hope and intention that the dog will be safe until a home can be found. It is my intention to give them the strength, knowledge, and motivation to believe they can do it all. So, I politely and apologetically decline.

Back to my friend JoJo. Aside from the dog talk, we decided it had been too long and made plans to meet later that afternoon at her husband’s beauty shop. As she was giving me the 5c tour, a guy who works at the shop approached us. “JoJo, you know that dog you were trying to find a home for? I would love to take her.”

XO,

RA

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Dog Maternity Photoshoot Was EPIC FAIL Says Animal Rescuers

Photos by Ana Paula Grillo

We are ANGRY. We are SAD. We are CONFUSED.

Angry because.. When you love animals, you want them to live. You want them to not be brought into this world unnecessarily because you understand all the risks. These photos made me physically ill. They represent everything we are working so hard to eliminate.

Approximately 7.6 million companion animals enter animal shelters nationwide every year. Of those, approximately 3.9 million are dogs and 3.4 million are cats. Each year, approximately 2.7 million animals are euthanized (1.2 million dogs and 1.4 million cats). (ASPCA Statistics)

Sad because.. There is a large part of the population who believe that it’s an honor for dogs to give birth. They think it’s important for their children to witness this. “It’s natural.” “I want to bring puppies into the world who are just like my wonderful dog.” “The puppies will be so cute.”

I’ve got a news flash for you:  ALL PUPPIES ARE CUTE. But that is not a reason to knowingly create them. This is precisely where the term “backyard breeder” came from. Doesn’t sound classy at all, does it?

Everything I do is with the intention of raising consciousness for our cause. I’m sad that this dog’s maternity photoshoot went viral for the wrong reasons. I’m sad that it promoted dog birth. I’m sad that so many people see no problem with it at all. I’m sad for the dog. For her little body having to go through something she never signed up for and the apparent joy she radiates only as a result of wanting to please her owners --  at any cost.

Confused because.. We understand that spaying and neutering is the first step to ending the overpopulation epidemic. This photo is of a mixed breed dog whose owners chose to impregnate her. You don't have a litter on purpose and "adopt" them out. It just doesn’t work that way. They will say they have good homes for all the puppies. There are no guarantees of this. And what about the puppies’ puppies?? Where will they end up?? We know. And it’s not pretty. Several will go on to be homeless, abused, abandoned, and neglected.

If you loved these photos, I challenge you.. I challenge you to visit a high intake animal shelter or volunteer for a rescue. That’s it. That’s all you’ll need to do to change your mind and enlighten your spirit. Then you’ll never see these photos in the same light again. This isn’t something to glorify. Be classy. Be part of the solution, not the problem please.

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Rescue Pittie Says Adopting A Special Needs Dog Is The New Black. Or Make That, Pink.

My latest article is up on BarkPost!

This cutie pie Pit Bull's joyous personality is changing the world.

Posted by BarkPost on Tuesday, March 22, 2016

From The Demon Who Had To Re-Home Her Furbaby.

May you never have to:

Choose between a vet bill and your rent.

Medicate your infant’s wheezing because of your fur baby.

Go into a nursing home or rehab and leave behind a pet when your family lives out of state.

Be declined for a pet friendly apartment because you can't afford the extra security deposit.

Choose between feeding your kids or your dog.

Re-home your pet because of domestic violence to both of you.

Live in a community without low cost emergency vet clinics.

Be so sick that you cannot walk your pets.

Need to find a food pantry that has dog food too.

Move into a homeless shelter that doesn't allow pets.

Have to answer the question “Why didn't the doggy love me?”

Lose a job or a spouse and be worried about paying for utilities when your pet is struck with illness.

Be told that your dog is not safe around your kid, despite professional training.

Have to move in with a family member whose pet is trying to eat yours or vice versa.

Set a dollar amount for your pet’s life more than which he will need to be put down.

Be shamed and humiliated for trying to do the right thing for your pet and family.

Be criticized at your most heartbreaking moment.

Be called names and harassed because you are trying to survive a bad time.

Be judged by people who claim compassion, but wrap it in ego, anger and bitterness.

Be haunted by your beloved animal crying as you leave him.

Be denied the second chance to adopt a dog that needs a second chance as badly as you.

--ANONYMOUS

The dog featured above is Samson and he is available for adoption. Please visit his adoption page here for more information or to fill out an application. Thank you.

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